Women in Law and Building a Home: Balancing Two Sides of a Coin

Wola Joseph – Condotti

How did you navigate the early stages of your legal career while managing family responsibilities, and what practical advice would you give to young female lawyers striving to do the same?

In the early stages of my career, I was focused on self-discovery—understanding my aspirations, defining the kind of leader I wanted to become, and charting a path for my professional growth. Family played an integral role even then, as the unwavering support of my parents and siblings provided the foundation that enabled me to pursue my ambitions with confidence.

When I got married, that foundation expanded with the unquantifiable support of my husband, who has been instrumental in my journey. My in-laws have also been incredible, reinforcing the importance of marrying a partner who believes in your vision. This is why I always advise young women to seek a partner who not only understands their dreams but is genuinely committed to supporting them in every possible way.

For young female lawyers, my advice is to embrace discipline, maintain focus, and set clear priorities. Balancing the rigorous demands of a legal career while building a family is no small feat. Your time will often be divided, requiring a high level of discipline, focus, and intentional prioritization.

One guiding principle that should anchor you is refusing to let excuses define you. Every uncompleted task can be explained, but at the end of the day, explanations won’t replace results. Instead of dwelling on why something was left undone, develop a proactive mindset, find solutions, and uphold a standard of excellence—both at work and at home.

This mindset shift will not only help you overcome hurdles but also build credibility and resilience, ensuring you thrive in both your professional and personal life.

In a nutshell:

1. Discover Yourself: Take the time to define your goals and understand what success means to you. Let that clarity guide your decisions and priorities.

2. Embrace Discipline: Learn to manage your time effectively. Balance is never perfect, but with discipline, you can focus on what matters most in each season of your life.

3. Refuse Excuses: Challenges are inevitable, but your response matters. Choose solutions over excuses, and strive to uphold excellence, even in difficult circumstances.

4. Seek Support: Build a network of mentors, colleagues, and family members who can support and encourage you through the journey.

5. Be Kind to Yourself: Remember that it’s okay not to have it all figured out. Growth comes with time, and every step forward counts.

What strategies have you found most effective in balancing the intense demands of building your career with the challenges of motherhood and family life?

Over the years, I’ve learned the importance of climbing the success ladder one step at a time. Family is a constant—it cannot be varied or adjusted. On the other hand, your career journey is flexible and must be adapted to fit your family lifestyle. This perspective has been critical in navigating both worlds effectively.

Motherhood, especially in the first 14 years of a child’s life, feels like full-time employment. During that period, it may seem as though your career is a side hustle. The years that follow may feel more like a part-time job in terms of active involvement, but the demands remain constant. Understanding this dynamic is essential—it teaches you to prioritize and manage your energy wisely. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is this: bite only what your mouth can accommodate. If you try to take on more than you can handle, you’ll feel overwhelmed and risk burning out. Instead, I’ve embraced a steady, intentional approach.

Learn to accept support and delegate tasks. You cannot do everything on your own, and even if you can, you cannot do it all the time. As Apostle Femi Lazarus wisely stated, “Anyone who tries to be El-Shaddai shall die.” Recognizing the importance of support is key to maintaining balance and well-being. Hire a nanny, a driver, a gardener, or a house help—whatever assistance is necessary to ease your daily responsibilities. Accepting help and delegating tasks allows you to focus on what truly matters and enhances overall productivity.

In a nutshell:

1. Take One Step at a Time: Focus on completing one goal before moving to the next. For example, take a master’s course, and when you’re done, take a moment to breathe, reflect, and let it bring value to your career. Then move on to the next professional milestone.

2. Seeking and accepting help is not a weakness but a strategy for efficiency and sustainability. Share responsibilities to create a more balanced and fulfilling life.

3. Pace Yourself: Allow yourself time to grow into your achievements. The key is to keep moving forward consistently, even if it’s one small step at a time. Drops of water eventually form a mighty ocean.

4. Prioritize the Non-Negotiables: With family and motherhood as constants, they naturally take precedence. Acknowledge and honor this reality by building your career around these priorities rather than in competition with them.

5. Stay Consistent: Doing nothing at all is the real problem. Even if progress feels slow, small consistent efforts compound over time into significant accomplishments.

By the time full-time motherhood eases, you’ll find that you’ve achieved far more than you might have imagined. It’s a journey of patience, perseverance, and balance, where every small step contributes to a larger picture of success in both career and family life.

What lessons have you learnt about protecting your mental health and maintaining resilience in the face of professional and personal pressures?

The image that comes to mind when I think about this question is that of a ship on the ocean. The ocean is vast, ever-present, and inescapable—it represents the pressures we face in life, both professional and personal. The ship, however, remains afloat because it does not allow the water to enter. As long as the waters stay outside the ship, they serve as its carriage, enabling it to move successfully from coast to coast.

You are the ship, and the pressures of life—the “ocean”—are constant and unavoidable. The key lesson is learning to keep those pressures in their place. They are not meant to sink you but to propel you toward your destination. The earlier you embrace this perspective, the stronger your resilience becomes. After all, the pressures of this world will not cease; they are a part of life’s journey.

To protect your mental health and stay resilient:

1. Keep the Pressure Outside: Recognize that pressures are external. Do not internalize them or let them consume you. They are part of your journey, but they should not define or overwhelm you.

2. Take Breaks/vacation: Regularly disconnecting from work is essential for mental clarity and emotional well-being. Whether it’s a short break during the day or an extended vacation, rest allows you to recharge and return with renewed energy. Traveling with both your nuclear and extended family can provide a unique sense of refreshment and reset. Personally, I take vacations two to three times a year to maintain balance and perspective.

3. Have a Personal intermittent Retreat: Setting aside time for reflection and renewal is crucial. For me, January is dedicated to a family retreat, while at other times, I intentionally slow down, catch my breath, and reflect. These planned and unplanned breaks help me regain focus and prepare for the next phase of the journey.

4. Maintain Perspective: Understand that challenges are part of the process. They are not obstacles to your progress but opportunities to grow stronger and move forward.

Remember, just as some folks commented on the first cry of a baby born as the realization of his entrance into a stressful world, life’s pressures are inevitable from day 1. But by keeping the pressures where they belong—outside your “ship”—you can navigate life with resilience, clarity, and a healthy mind.

What advice would you give to young female lawyers on managing societal expectations while pursuing their professional goals?

Societal expectations often pressure people into living lives they are not comfortable with. The demands of society are ever-increasing—just when you think you’ve met them, you’ll find a new level of expectations waiting for you. It’s a never-ending race. That’s why it’s crucial to live by your personal standards rather than trying to measure up to societal standards.

The key is to set personal expectations and goals. You are not living to satisfy others. Define what success means to you and focus on becoming better than who you were yesterday. Let yesterday’s successes serve as the benchmark for today’s progress. It’s about personal growth, not societal validation.

When you measure your progress based on your own goals and values, you remain in control. On the other hand, when you rely on societal validation, you allow external pressures to seep into your “ship,” and that can disturb your mental health and inner peace.

Practical advice:

1. Define Your Own Standards: Identify what matters to you and let your values guide your decisions and actions. I recently heard a saying – “Do you, be you, the world will conform”.

2. Focus on Personal Growth: Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to others or society’s shifting standards. Strive to improve steadily and intentionally.

3. Ignore the Noise: Understand that you cannot please everyone, and societal expectations will never stop evolving. Free yourself from the burden of external approval.

4. Protect Your Peace: Keep external pressures outside your “ship.” Your mental health and peace of mind are vital to your success.

In the end, success is not about meeting the ever-changing demands of society but about staying true to yourself and building a life and career that align with your values and goals.

How can law firms, companies, and legal institutions create environments that better support women balancing work, career growth, and family responsibilities?

The professional world—whether in law firms, companies, or legal institutions—faces its own everyday challenges and targets. These organizations are constantly navigating the storms of their dynamic environments, which often means their focus is on meeting demands and achieving results. As such, the level of support they can extend to women balancing work and family may be limited.

This reality emphasizes the importance of women adopting a mindset that prioritizes balance and intentionality. As we’ve discussed earlier, every woman should avoid biting off more than she can chew and embrace the principle that a career should fit into her family life, not the other way around. With this approach, women can achieve a certain level of harmony between their personal and professional lives.

However, there are still impactful policies and practices organizations can implement to ease the burden for women:

1. Maternity Leave: Paid maternity leave gives women the opportunity to recover and bond with their babies without the stress of rushing back to work.

2. Lactation Rooms: Providing designated spaces for breastfeeding mothers to pump or nurse in privacy can significantly improve their workplace experience.

3. Early Closure for Nursing Mothers: Some organizations adopt policies that allow nursing mothers to close early for a defined period, giving them more time to tend to their young children.

4. Establishing a daycare facility within office premises will enable nursing mothers to bring their children to work, fostering a more supportive work environment. This initiative is expected to significantly enhance employee concentration, productivity, and overall well-being.

These measures, while seemingly small, can go a long way in creating an environment that is more accommodating and supportive for women. Ultimately, achieving balance requires a shared effort: organizations making reasonable accommodations and women being intentional about how they navigate their responsibilities.

About Wola

Wola is the Group MD/CEO of West Power & Gas Limited, the parent company of Eko Electricity Distribution PLC (EKEDP) and six other affiliates in the conventional and renewable energy sectors. She also serves as the Director of the Power and Renewable Division at the Women in Energy Network (WIEN) in a non-executive capacity.

Previously, she was the pioneer Chief, Legal & Company Secretariat at EKEDP, holding multiple key roles, including Head of Regulatory Compliance, Chief Human Resources & Administration Officer, Supervising Chief of the Customer Service Department, and Data Protection Officer. Her legal career includes positions as General Counsel/Company Secretary at Lagoon Home Savings and Loans and Legal Associate at Banwo & Ighodalo.

Wola holds a law degree from the University of Ibadan, an LL.M. in International Finance Law from Harvard Law School, and an MBA from INSEAD Business School. She is also a Board Evaluation Certified Professional and Corporate Governance Trainer with the International Finance Corporation (World Bank).

Her achievements have earned her several accolades, including recognition in the Legal 500 GC Powerlist: Nigeria 2024, being named INSEADer of the Month (April 2024), and listed among Africa’s 100 Most Inspiring Women (2024). She was also ranked 11th among Nigeria’s top 50 General Counsels (2019) and featured in Legal Blitz’s Top 40 Under 40 Lawyers (2018). Most recently, she was recognized among Africa’s 50 Most Inspirational Female Energy Executives by Africa Oil Week (AOW).

Wola serves on multiple boards, including Exponential Foundation Nigeria, Women in Energy Network, Jimi Tewe Foundation, and Newswire Law & Events Magazine. She is a member of the Institute of Directors, the Society for Corporate Governance Nigeria, and an associate member of the Institute of Chartered Secretaries and Administrators of Nigeria.